What You Can Do to Help Your Children through This Difficult Time
It is crucial that you take care of your own needs. You need strength
to help your child cope with his or her loss, and your won't have this
strength without a support system of your own. Children react to what they
see you do. Locate a support group, a counsellor, a member of the clergy,
or anyone who can be there just for you. For additional help, look for
appropriate books in your library or book stores.
- Keep things as routine as possible. Try not to make any more changes
in your olives than absolutely necessary at this time.
- Talk to your kids. Remember that their Imaginations can be worse than
reality, so tell them as much as you fell they can handle, as clearly and
honestly as you can. Reassure them that they did not cause the loved one's
death. Have the child write down the reasons why he or she feels to blame,
then counter these reasons one by one with clear logic as to why this is
simply not so.
- Reassure your children that you intend to take care of them until
they are all grown up and can take care of themselves. Also reassure them
that you are able to take good care of yourself and that you will keep
- Learn methods to help your children express their feelings, such as
by having free and open conversations with you adn with others. Encourage
them to write down their feelings or to draw them. Show them safe and
non-hurtful ways to release their anger, such as punching their bed or
pillows. Exercise is a wonderful outlet for everyone. Try taking wlaks
together, or playing together at home or at the playground.
remember that you cannot give away what you yourself do not possess. A great
example of this is the instructions given prior to airplane travel: In the
event of air loss, always apply your own oxygen mask first, then attend to
your children. You cannot help them breathe if you yourself are oxygen
deprived. Seek your comfort and strength so that you have it to give to your