Asking for help


Letting people know when you need support is a basic human skill. Unfortunately many of us are underdeveloped in this area. How do we ask those around us for help ?


You have been helping your loved one through the final days of life. Each of you here was a caregiver - because of choice or because circumstances. being a good caregiver doesn't necessarily make us good care receivers. In fact, it often gets in the way.


This is very difficult because grief is such an isolating experience. We can be with a whole room full of people that love us, and still feel alone. We need to remember that our grief helps create this isolation. Breaking through the isolation requires action on our part.


Remember a time when a good friend experienced the death of someone else. How did you feel ? Like you wanted to help, but weren't quite sure how ? Like you didn't know what words to say ? Now the roles are reversed and they need direction. if you are going to get the support you need, chances are, you are going to have to ask for it.


When people say, "Is there anything I can do ?" we often automatically respond in the negative. Play through in your mind how the conversation would go if your response was, "Actually, there is something I could use some help with." Take a risk, and try this with someone you trust.