Grief

 

 

 

 

 

Denial
In the denial stage we refuse to believe what has happened.
We try in our mind to tell ourselves that life is as it was before our loss.
We can even make believe to an extent by re enacting rituals that we used to
go through with our loved one. Making an extra cup of tea for our loved one
who is no longer there, rushing back to tell someone that you have met an
old friend. Flashing back to times and conversations in the past as though
they we here with us now. They can all be part of this stage.


Anger
We get angry.
The anger can manifest itself in many ways.
We can blame others for our loss.
We can become easily agitated having emotional outbursts.
We can even become angry with ourselves.
Care must be taken here not to turn this anger inwards.
Release of this anger is a far better way to cope with grief in my experience.

 

Bargain
Bargaining can be with ourselves or if you are religious with your God.
Often we will offer something to try to take away the reality of
what has happened. We may try to make a deal, to have our loved ones back
as they were before the event occurred.
It is only human to want things as they were before.

 

Depression
Depression is a very likely outcome for all people that grieve for a loss.
This is what I would consider the most difficult stage of the five to deal with.
There can be a feeling of listlessness and tiredness.
You may be bursting helplessly into tears.
Feeling like there is no purpose to life any more.
Feeling guilty, like everything is your own fault.
You may find you feel like you are being punished.
Pleasure and joy can be difficult to achieve even from things and activities
which you have always gained delight. There can even be thoughts of suicide.
There are many different ways in which this stage of grief can manifest itself.
If you at any time in this stage feel like doing yourself any harm
Please do seek professional
counselling.
Self-preservation is a must.

 

Acceptance
The final stage of grief.
It is when you realize that life has to go on.
You can adjust to your loss.
You should now be able to regain your energy and goals for the future.
It may take some time to get here
But you will.