Grief
A few things to remember firstly
...
The first year after the death is particularly difficult because it is full of
"firsts." The first Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. without the loved one;
the first birthday that passes by, the first vacation, and so on. The second
year is actually often worse than the first year because the reality has set in
that he or she is really gone.
The annual anniversary of the death is a painful time
The recently bereaved
do no have to sit out a season of joy
Ironically, the joy and
excitement of the holidays magnify the sense of pain and loss for the recently
bereaved yet, those who mount the death of a family member do not have to
stoically endure the season. here are four gentle steps to soften the blow and
ease the pain:
Plan
ahead for family gatherings
some families find it
comforting to stick to tradition for the holiday celebrations. for others,
however, planning a holiday meal exactly the way it has been for years when a
precious family member is missing just invitees a traumatic event.call for a
family conference to plan ahead for the holiday. allow family members to
express how they feel. then. together decide what family traditions you want
to continue. during the conference, pay special attention to the wishes of
survivors who are hurting the most. their wishes should carry the most weight
Tap
into your faith.
Seeking out a house of
worship in which to pray, meditate and reflect can ease holiday loneliness and
facilitate healing.
Don't
judge your feelings
Although people usually
are happy during the holiday's, you may not feel that way. if you do not feel
joyful, accept those feelings. be tolerant of your moods and emotions. allow
yourself to experience them. if you try to deny or block negative feelings,
you simply force them deeper into your Psyche. eventually they will find
other, possibly unhealthy ways of expressing themselves. if you allow yourself
to feel your emotions without judging or suppressing them, they will naturally
dissipate, and your stress will be reduced.
Use the name of the person who has
passed
Sometimes family and
friends engage in a conspiracy of silence. they believe that mentioning the
name of the deceased will make the survivor sadder. break that conspiracy of
silence by including your loved one